It’s hard to give empathy when you’re holding judgment. This is a real sticking point. We can’t empathize with others until we empathize with ourselves for the pain we are feeling and really examine the thoughts that are underpinning these feelings. Then we can begin the process of releasing our unrealistic expectations of our children’s learning process. It may take up to 1,000 reminders for your child to finally pick up their dirty laundry.Do you really want to grit your teeth and raise your blood pressure through each of the 1000 moments you fling your hands up in the air with frustration?
Mindful Parenting requires immense patience and self reflection, but the benefit is a child who is ready to go out into the world with an unshakable sense of self.
They don’t doubt they can do anything they dream of. They’re able to take risks because they are patient with themselves. They can fall on their face time after time, continuing to practice a new skill, because they believe that learning is a process. You don’t learn everything instantly.
So how do we do this? By noticing our thoughts and questioning them. Four radical questions that can change your life.
Just beginning to notice your thoughts requires effort. We often think we are our thoughts- or rather, that our thoughts are us. We’ve never been taught to notice and question them. What are we hearing and believing is true without a second guess?
My child SHOULD pick up his clothes. I’ve told him a thousand times.
He SHOULDN’T hit his sister. It’s unkind.
He is such a pain the butt!
She is so slow and useless!
She is driving me nuts!
Is it true?