We want children to occupy the higher centers of their brains (like the PreFrontal Cortex) where they have unlimitted access to their brilliance. The need to develop the necessary brain connections to help them move to the higher states of the brain. These connections are formed through presence, eye contact, touch and kindness. When children feel scared or unsafe, they can not access these higher states. They are stuck in the lower centers where they have access to less resources.
The great challenge here is that it requires us to be present. Presence is the lack of judgement. It is watching your child dump their lunch on the floor and keeping your calm. It is witnessing them make poor choices and remaining grounded and untriggered. The biggest catch here is that you birthed a beautiful being, and this little piece of you is running around with its own agenda. It’s so easy to project all of your own personal judgements onto your child, when it’s simply not appropriate.
Take a deep breath. We all do it. It’s part of this human experience. We have children so we can learn to forgive ourselves, to be kinder to ourselves, to love ourselves more deeply. So here we go, trying to be kinder to ourselves so we can help our children develop the brain connections and self esteem they need to be unlimited.
So big newsflash: you’re not perfect, and you’ll never be. You’re just like everybody else. Whew! What a relief! Now that you’re done being super mom or super dad, it’s time to take a deep dive into uncovering what limiting beliefs you’re carrying that are limiting you.They’re hiding right below the surface like little jewels, waiting for you to treasure them.
As you shift your core beliefs, you re-wire your own brain to help you occupy the higher states of your brain. From here, you can be the parent you’ve always dreamed of. You’ll open your mouth and brilliance will fall out! Well, it doesn’t happen that quick. It takes at least 24 hours. Well, that’s optomistic really. But the truth is I can arrogantly say that the majority of the time I’m very happy with what comes out of my mouth when I interact with children, but that’s not what blows me away. I have so much more self respect and self worth than I did when I embarked on this journey. I am lovingly assertive and cooperatve. I am becoming the person I have always wanted to be, and being a proud parent is a really awesome perk.